farters have to be the big spoon...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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