She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
