D3 body, D1 cock
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Congratulations! We have a period
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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