I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
a search helicopter?!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
