why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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