do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
