at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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