Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
