I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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