Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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