i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize