Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
