I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
