saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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