Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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