We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
