her vagine was all disorganized.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
