Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
