I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
