found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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