I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize