He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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