He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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