You just made me feel so damn special
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
