Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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