No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
