we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
