We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
