He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
