Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
