I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Alive.
So much puke
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
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