Don't you send me to vm
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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