need another drink. this is the easiest way
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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