My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize