So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Terrible idea I love it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
