You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if only i could text you this smell
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
