All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize