How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize