i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
