Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
