5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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