You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize