they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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