You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
