Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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