her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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