Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i barfeds in our rink
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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