love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
