wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
