i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
