i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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