just come out here and I will go home with you...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
