do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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