I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
