is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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