Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
