Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we should paint friendship bongs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
