ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
