I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
